i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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