I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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