i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
