I can text with my tongue
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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