please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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