hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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