that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
