So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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