She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
