He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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