How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
