Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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