She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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