I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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