at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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