Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
