garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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