every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
