What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
