it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The Olympian is in my bed
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
