Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The maid of honor just puked.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Randomize
