he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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