I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
