Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
