I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
