I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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