She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
