Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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