note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Four minutes until I can fart!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
