he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
