I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
