It's just like the Real World with babies
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
what the fuck happened to the tacos
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
