Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
