the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
