i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
