i need an iv and a liver transplant
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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