Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
