dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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