next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
