Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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