i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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