Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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