Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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