AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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