finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
