I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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