Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
