Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
