omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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