who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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