There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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